I’m a little hesitant to even say these words out loud because I’m worried that once I do, my reality will change and things will go back to the “normal” I have been feeling for the past several months. Buuuuuuut, yesterday and today, I have felt infinitely better compared to how I have been feeling. I have energy, my aches and pains are noticeable but not nearly as debilitating, and my mood seems happier. Yay. Double yay! And praise the Lord, I don’t have a headache today. I worry that if I fully embrace these semi-pain free days and overdo it out of sheer excitement, I might be knocked down for the count in days to come. So, I’m not entirely sure what my threshold of energy and level of activity should be at the moment.
I can’t tell you the last time I felt truly energized and ready to tackle my day. So these past two days of having energy has meant the world to me. Yesterday, I didn’t even take a midday nap while my son was sleeping. Instead, I found myself writing for my bloggy-blog, which always sets my soul on fire. The fact that I wasn’t too wiped out and could think clearly was a welcomed change, that’s for sure. Today, I am carrying out my civil duty as a juror for the first time in my 39 years of life! I seriously cannot believe this is my very first time being summoned, but I’m not complaining. I am learning that there is a lot of waiting around in this process, so what better way to spend my time and energy than blogging for all of you (and me, of course)! And, as any highly sensitive person would do, I opted to sit in the “Quiet Room” that they offer off of the main lounge. The main room has three televisions playing for entertainment, but this girl just wants a quiet space to think and reflect. I have to say, I’m really impressed that the government building even has a space like this for those of us who prefer less stimulation. Amen, government, amen!
I think sitting on a jury would be interesting yet challenging for me. I love the psychology throughout cases, but being an empath, I think it would be rather difficult for me to not to consider everyone’s feelings in the room (even the person who might be completely guilty). Thus, making a final decision that could impact someone else’s life would weigh very heavily on me.
This whole process challenges my spirituality. It brings up those big questions like: Who am I to determine someone else’s fate? Who am I to say what should or should not happen in this lifetime? While I have my own beliefs and biases, and of course, I want happiness for everyone, I shy away from being a final say in someone else’s actions. I could see if the case was clearcut with no doubt whatsoever, I might have an easier time because I’d lean on my moral compass of wanting a safe environment for all, but sometimes the lines simply aren’t that definitive. So, I will be curious to see what comes of being called for jury duty. Will I get chosen to sit on the trial, or will I be dismissed? Stay tuned!
In the meantime, I am riding this ‘feel good’ train as long as I can. Perhaps my supplement regimen is doing the trick and healing my body! I have been eating clean, whole foods and flushing my body with lemon water as much as possible hoping the process will all work together to get me back into tiptop shape. While it’s nowhere close to where I used to be a few months ago when I was running 3 miles several days a week, I vowed to move my body in some fashion each day whether it’s a walk or yoga until I feel consistently better enough to start pushing a little harder. I’m also anxiously awaiting next week when a local sauna reopens so I can get a good sweat-on to release more toxins! One day at a time is my motto these days – just ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME.
Update: I wasn’t selected for jury duty.